Episode 10: How to be a Confident Swimmer

This weekend the Orca teaching staff plus our much-loved office manager Lynar got together for a whole day of planning and creating for what we are calling Orca 2.0. Our newest teacher Karen, brought up a great question about the difference between confidence and competence?

The example she used was that use as teachers we are both confident and competent but you could say that we were both of these things 10 years ago as well. However, in the case of Margaret, she is exponentially more competent now that 10 years ago because of learning a whole new way to teach that is holistic and specific and systematic. For myself (Cori) my competency increased greatly longer ago than 10 years.

Both competence and confidence can grow over time being engaged in an activity, then the question is which is needed first? What do you think? In today’s episode, I go into more detail about creating confidence. This is because students tell us they want to feel confident in the deep water. Often this is meet with the idea that you need to be competent at a skill in order to feel confident. But how can you become competent without having confidence in yourself first?

Learning to swim starts way before you even get to the pool. Learning to snorkel and enjoy warm tropical vacations like Kona Hawaii in April 2020 start at home with the development of your confidence.

I like to think of the image of soft-serve ice cream that is served in a swirl of two flavors. Each flavor has its own starting point and as you rise up the time spent in each flavor gets smaller and smaller so that at the top you can no longer tell which is which. Creating a new skill is similar to both distinct parts needing space at the beginning of developing a skill. By the time you fully embody a skill the confidence and competence are tightly wound together.

Take a listen. Apply the information to your self right now without having to get into a swimsuit. Start creating your confidence so you can join us in Hawaii next year!

What creates confidence? What is confidence?

Here are three definitions: Slides 2-5

A feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust
A state of feeling certain about the truth of something
A feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s abilities or qualities

Slide 6

Notice that none of the definitions include a particular set of skills executed in a particular way. However, when I work with people in the water, they often present with the idea of when they get a set of skills that look a certain way then they will have confidence.

Slides 7, 8, 9

In our first definition, it’s about belief and trust. These are foundational elements for learning to swim. Belief and trust in yourself. It’s not belief and trust that you know and can do everything there is to do, but rather that you can figure it out bit by bit. It is easy to have a sense of lacking in confidence and say well that’s because confidence comes from over there in that future place. But if you don’t start with being trustworthy then you will miss confidence today and in the future.

Slides 10, 11

The second definition is about having certainty of truth. These are your building blocks. If you do not have each step rooted in a firm certainty of truth then you cannot have confidence. This is the marker of when it’s time to move to the next step. The trap we see students get into is wishing they are in a different place than they currently are. This prevents them from building the certainty of the truth of how the waterworks. Give yourself the gift of time and experience so you have a certainty of the truth. To understand the water like you understand gravity.

Slide 12

Each morning you sit up in bed and swing your legs to the floor there is no thinking about how to use your muscles to overcome gravity to stand. Some days may be creaky and slow, but you know you will figure it out.

Slides 13,14

This brings us back to our third definition that is about the appreciation of one’s abilities. In order to appreciate one’s abilities, you must first be present to them. Not in a state of wishing for a different set of abilities, but to actually be present to the abilities currently possessed.

The big challenge here is doing more of what you can do because once you can do something you often no longer think of it as a thing. Going back to the standing up example. If you were to list all the things you can do in a day it is not likely (unless you are very young or recovering from illness or injury) that you would name standing as a thing you can do. This, however, is the amount of space you want to give yourself when learning the foundational steps of swimming. To pay such close attention to the tiny steps that you can become a part of you like gravity.

Slide 15

Your brain will want to lure you into what you cannot do yet. To worry, judge, compared to prevent you from changing your narrative or from asking your brain to do the hard work of figuring out what you can do.

However, if you want to build confidence then you need to be able to spend time in what you can do. From here the next smallest step is revealed.

When you spend time in what you cannot do, the only steps that are revealed are the steps that are too far away right now.

Slides 16, 17

All three definitions have one word in common: to feel. Confidence is a feeling, not an action. Again if you are looking to a skill to give you the confidence you will not find it. We see this time and time again when we have students come to us and they can do a remarkable number of skills. Many people say they can swim enough to save themselves but are not confident swimmers.

They have skills but lack a feeling of confidence. This feeling of confidence is important because it is our thoughts and feelings that drive our actions and give us our results.

Slide 18

This then brings the question of how to change from a feeling of non-confidence to confidence.

It starts by allowing yourself to be exactly where you are, to begin with. Just to be with the lack of confidence without pushing it away. There is no need to judge yourself for it, wish it away or ignore it. Being present with the feeling will help get to the questions that need to be answered.

Slide 19

Take out a sheet of paper and write down the thoughts that come to mind that produce the feeling less confident.

I don’t know how to get air.
I don’t know what to do in the water.
If I go into the deep end I may sink and must move very quickly to make sure I get to a side.
When I put my face in the water it always goes up my nose.
I do not know how to tread water and I must be able to do this to be safe in the deep.
Snorkeling looks like such fun, but the tides may take me away.

These thoughts are usually the place we stop or ask someone else to be responsible. Asking someone else to be responsible is a bridge to confidence, but what we really want to have is confidence in ourselves.

Slide 20

Dig into your thoughts. Rollback the layers and see when the thought goes from a feeling of no confidence to confidence.

I will use “I don’t know how to get air” as an example.

Slides 21, 22

What else goes into this thought? I don’t know how to get air using side breathing as in the front crawl. This is on one side of the spectrum. How about the side of the spectrum where you do have confidence with air…like right now as you are listening to this? Could we say you actually do know how to get air with confidence and ease? Now look for the place that you go from this feeling of confidence that you have right now around breathing to the first moment this feeling starts to change.

Slide 23

It may even be happening right now with the anticipation of being in the water and breathing. This is how powerful our thoughts are. We can produce a feeling of concern about our breathing in water when we are not even in the water. The good news is we are learning how to be in control of our minds/thoughts and you don’t have to be stuck with the current thought. A different thought will produce a different feeling.

Slide 24

Look for the place that you can produce a feeling of confidence in breathing in relation to the water. Sitting next to the pool? Sitting with your feet in the water? Walking in shallow water. Kneeling in the water so your chest is in the water but not your face.

Notice what is going on in your thoughts now. A part of your brain may be saying yes I can confidently breath sitting next to the pool, but that’s not good enough, what if… what if… what if.

Slide 25

When we present our brain with a new way of being you may be met with confusion, resistance, dissociation (mentally leaving). This is part of the process. Notice it then feel your body sensations. Feeling your body sensations right now brings you into the present moment. Come back to feeling your breath right now. It is working. You are getting air. You do know how to breathe.

It may seem simple to say I am learning confidence with breathing by sitting on the side of the pool and breathing. I should be in the water working on fancy side breathing techniques. However, in order to get to the fancy technique, you must go in with confidence. 80% of learning is about the mindset before you ever get to a physical skill. Physical skills only come out of an aligned mindset.

Once you have confidence that you know how to bring your thoughts together then you are ready to move to the next step.

Watch Episode 10 Below:

Healing Fear in Warm Water

If you’re like many adults, you’ve been frustrated or embarrassed that you weren’t free to swim “like everybody else.” Half of adults can’t swim, like you! We meet them all the time. They’ve tried every system, including the traditional programs, with no success.

Since 1999, we’ve helped hundreds of adults overcome their fear and discomfort in water with our proven system built on the 5 Circles Teaching Method. The Miracle Swimming system uses the nuts and bolts of mindfulness to address the root of the problem and will transform the way you feel and think about water for the rest of your life.